Thursday, December 11, 2008

An ER Christmas


Today some of the nurses put up Christmas decorations around the Triage area.
Lights around the main desk window, tinsel around the triage desks; very festive!
It was a little off putting though, when a patient came in a threw up blood all over the Santa ornament, and then defecated in her pants, so you had to smell feces while walking past the Christmas cookies.
Hazard of the season, I suppose.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Strangest Customer Of The Night



He sat down at my window. Immediately I knew something was not right.

Although on his nursing notes said presenting complaint was "unsteady on feet", I knew there had to be psych component to this patient.

He was twitching slightly, hands trembling as he clutched his bag close to his body. He reminded me of a trapped rabbit, his whole body quivering with nervous energy.

I proceeded with the registration, all went well until I picked up my computer mouse slightly to readjust it on my mouse pad. He shrieked, startled I looked up at him; without looking at me he asked if i could,

"Not pick up the mouse, as the red laser under it is blinding me and causing me to die".

Now it is true, I have a small red light under the mouse (I am not sure why it is there), actually his commenting on it was the first time I had even ever noticed it; and this was definitely the first time anyone had complained that it was causing them to go blind, or expire!

Unsure of what to say, I completed the registration, and proceeded to put an ID bracelet on his wrist.

As I did this he asked"Can Ellen be my nurse?"

"Is Ellen a nurse that works in Emergency?" I questioned.

"No" he stated, "She is my dead aunt who use to be a nurse, she died of kidney failure...I was wondering if you could call up her ghost so she can treat me, you can do that, right?"

Baffled, I muttered "I'll see what I can do" under my breath as I sent him back into the waiting room.

Sitting at my now (thankfully) empty desk, I tried to think of what my costume would look like...Surely being able to blind people, and being able to summon the dead, warrants at least minor league superhero status?

I am thinking purple and gold leggings....